5 WAYS TO LOVE YOUR BODY FROM THE INSIDE-OUT
February 18th, 2010
TEEN TRUTH friend and therapist Isabelle Tierney believes that we can choose to love our bodies from the outside-in OR from the inside-out. When we live from the outside-in, we let what we see dictate how we feel; but when we choose to live from the inside out, we let how we feel dictate all the beauty that we see.
Scene #1: Becky, a 17 year-old girl, is getting dressed before going to school. This is what she tells her body as she looks at herself in the mirror:
You are disgusting. You are fat and ugly and you make my life miserable. If only you were thin, my life would be so much better. I would be popular, surrounded by guys wanting to be with me, and I would feel confident about who I am. I hate you and wish I could control you better.
Becky then weighs herself. She discovers she’s gained a pound so she skips breakfast and lunch and either under-eats or overeats at dinner because her body is starving. She hardly talks to anyone at school because she feels fat and ugly. All day, she thinks obsessively about food and feels anxious and depressed
Does this sound familiar? Becky is a typical young woman. She believes that thinness will bring her happiness and feels hatred and disgust towards herself and her body when that happiness is threatened by a seemingly imperfect weight.
Scene #2: Alyssa, a 16-year old girl is also getting dressed before going to school. This is what she tells her body as she looks at herself in the mirror:
You are so strong and beautiful! I am so grateful for how you work for me 24/7. I look forward to hanging out with friends today, going for a run, and being able to feel the thousands of amazing experiences that you let me experience every day! I love you!
Alyssa then eats delicious meals that give her pleasure AND are nourishing to her body. She exercises because she wants to support the body that supports her so much and she refuses to get on the scale because she knows it doesn’t tell her ANYTHING about who her body is or how she feels. She has strong self-esteem regardless of her weight and leads a full and enjoyable life.
Whose life would you rather live? Becky, the young woman in the first scene, views her body and her life from the outside-in, believing that the size and shape of her body determines whether she is “good-enough”. Although we hear this message everywhere, it’s crucial that we own up to the fact that it’s just NOT true and that we’ve wasted precious time on trying to be perfect on the outside because we are so hungry to be loved and accepted on the inside.
Alyssa views her body and her life from the inside-out. She knows her value comes from who she is on the inside regardless of what she looks like on the outside. She also views her body from the inside, seeing the millions of miracles that her body performs for her every minute of every day. The inside-out approach makes her feel strong about who she is and makes her take loving actions towards herself and her body effortlessly.
If you are sick and tired of hating your body and yourself, it is time that you focus on the inside-out approach. You and your body are amazing creations that deserve your love and kindness. Try it for a week. Make a daily list on what you have to be grateful about yourself and your body. I promise you that you will feel more joy and gratitude than you could ever feel by being “thin enough”!
5 Ways to Love your Body from the Inside-out
1. Start embracing the truth that you and your body are more wonderful, more fabulous, and more miraculous than any seemingly perfect image of your body. Really question whether being thin ever will (or ever has) brought you the happiness that it promises.
2. Every night, write down 5 things that you are grateful about your body. This could be as simple as thanking your lungs for breathing, your hands for writing, your feet for walking.
3. Whenever you start thinking about how fat you are or how ugly your body is, change your focus to the INSIDE of your body and focus on how your heart beats for you 24/7, or how your intestines digested your last meal, or how your muscles help you move, or how your bones hold you up…
4. Rather than looking at external reasons about why you are or are not good enough, make a list of inside qualities that make you a good person, such as courage, sense of humor, compassion, sensitivity, generosity, being a good listener, … You will create a great life because of these qualities, NOT because of the perfect body.
5. When you eat or exercise, do it not from fear or guilt but as a GIFT to your body. I dedicate my meals or my workouts to different body parts, such as my heart, or my muscles, or my bones…Coming from a loving intent rather than self-hating intent changes the whole experience!
These exercises are practices that you can do for a lifetime. Changing from the outside-in to the inside-out way of thinking is radical and life-changing. Be patient with yourself. It will be well worth it!
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