TEEN TRUTH: VOICES – THE OTHER SIDE OF ME
September 2nd, 2010
Standing in the coldness, I overheard my mother talking to Coach Sandy about “Special Olympics” and “out of the ordinary.” I thought, “What are they talking about?” but I just kept lacing up my skates, pretending I wasn’t listening.
I couldn’t wait for my blades to touch the ice! That’s when life is magical. I love to feel the cool air on my face. My soul comes alive when the music plays, and I become the music! I am mature, graceful.
But that day, I was off. My spins traveled. I fell on my jumps. My spiral was short and wobbly. I heard Coach Sandy talking, but I couldn’t concentrate. I kept smiling, but inside I knew something felt very, very wrong. My mind and heart were overwhelmed and fearful.
When I got off the ice, my mother was quiet, looking at me with red, watery eyes. I asked her why she was talking about Special Olympics and she told me, “Katie, when you were little, your father and I had you tested for a disability. The results came back that you have a disability called Mildly Mentally Handicapped.” I was shocked! I felt “less than,” sad, upset, and angry. I asked, “Is that why I get bad grades and get help in school?” She replied back, “yes.”
That day, I felt like I would never get over this horrible thing that my mother had told me! But one year later I got invited to skate in the Indiana State Special Olympic Winter Competition where I qualified to go to the Special Olympics World Winter Games in Idaho. My mother and I were both really excited, but I knew that if I went, I’d be in the news. I knew that everybody would find out – my friends, family, and strangers. I didn’t want anybody to know about the “other side of me” because I hadn’t reconciled with my disability yet. I didn’t want people making fun of me at school or thinking differently of me.
So I had a choice: either I go and deal with the kids at school, or don’t go and deal with regret.
I decided to go and was off to training camp in Colorado to prepare.
When I got there everybody was so kind, generous and happy! I talked to a girl with fetal alcohol syndrome and told her about my learning disability. She told me that she always felt left out, like she didn’t belong. I told her that I had felt that exact same way, and that she just needed to stand up for herself and accept who she is. She gave me a hug and said, “Katie, you’re my hero!”
In Colorado, I found myself. I discovered who I am and who I want to be. But this is just the beginning of learning about the “other side of me.”
- Katie Stamper won the gold medal in figure skating in the 2009 Special Olympics. Be sure to read Part 2 of her story HERE!