On April 9th, 2008 my wife and I were blessed with the arrival of our baby girl. The hospital made us stay for a two-day “observation period” so they could make sure our daughter was ready to go. But really I think they were observing whether we were ready to go.

As new parents we were both excited and nervous to raise our first child, so naturally we were open to whatever insight the nurses could offer. As several nurses visited us around the clock it became apparent that they often offered conflicting advice. My wife and I found this both confusing and demoralizing because we just wanted to provide our baby with the best care we could, but no one seemed to agree on what that was.

Thankfully, the inconsistent advice did not hinder us from raising a happy, healthy young girl but it did inspire us to relay what we learned to as many friends as we could that were expecting. We didn’t want others to feel as helpless as we did. As we raise our daughter we continue to share what we have learned with those who are on the same child-rearing journey. I realize that just being a father does not make me an expert on how to raise a child, but I believe it is extremely important for me to share what I have learned.

When I speak in front of students, parents or educators I often mention that I am not an expert. I do not have a degree in psychology, education or counseling. I’m just a filmmaker who is passionate about listening to students and giving them a VOICE.

Since we began this incredible journey, JC and I have been listening to and learning from students who offer us an incredible amount of truth, insight and inspiration. After five years of being on the road, speaking to over one million youth we feel it’s finally time to share what we have learned in a new book we’re calling (no surprise) TEEN TRUTH.

We’re thrilled to be in the final stages of production on our book and look forward to sharing our stories, insight and research with you. It’s another step in the journey towards creating a community of compassion and an opportunity to begin a meaningful dialog with the teens we care about.

Sincerely,

Taking the time
Lending a hand.
Expecting nothing in return
Just being themselves.

Wanting to help.
Changing the world.
They go unnoticed
Every day people are heroes.

- Lauren Pace, a student at Valley Forge High School in Cleveland, OH, was so moved by the TEEN TRUTH LIVE experience when JC came to her school that she wrote a poem about every day heroes, moving JC, her teachers and fellow students to tears. JC promptly gave her a TRUTH Tag to wear, as she lives her TRUTH everyday inspiring those she meets.

In 2009, I switched this tradition up and found a new way of thinking that has helped me greatly. Having seen the impact of this decision over the years, I thought it would be worth sharing with you and your efforts to make 2012 an amazing year of personal and professional growth.

It all started back in 2008 in an effort to eat healthier, I decided to give up french fries for the year. Of course, living in America, where fries are served with virtually every meal, that task became increasingly hard, and I made it until around the end of February before my love for those tasty little treats overcame yet another New Year’s Resolution.

It was at this time that I thought, “There has to be a better way.” So I decided to try something different. Much like a football team motto or a corporate slogan, I decided to boil my New Year’s Resolution down to one word…something that could impact all facets of my life, while at the same time give me the opportunity to succeed in actually keeping my resolution.

So in 2009 I chose the word VISION as my one word resolution. This word proved to be an interesting theme for my year. I ultimately quit my day job, joined the TEEN TRUTH speaking team full time, and helped to develop TEEN TRUTH into the national brand that it is today. Constantly reflecting on the word VISION truly helped me stay focused and lead me to great personal happiness by year’s end.

In 2010, I looked for something new, and I settled on the word BALANCE. Due to many stresses in my life I felt that my relationships, my career, and time spent with my family had been thrown out of balance. So during a year when I felt that things were spinning out of control, I magically found that BALANCE when I moved from Los Angeles to Austin, discovering Yoga, a great community, and my new found enjoyment of hiking the tree-lined hills of Texas. During a year that seemed to be completely disconnected, once again, I happily found myself in true BALANCE by year’s end.

As I started 2011, I was struggling for my yearly word until I sat down to watch my favorite movie, THE BIG LEBOWSKI, on New Year’s Eve. As the main character often professes, “The Dude abides,” it came to me: With all the changes in my life over the last few years I had to simply ABIDE for the year. So nervously I did. And what a year it turned out to be. TEEN TRUTH had a record setting year, I found a wonderful woman with whom I share a very balanced and healthy bond with, I have grown much closer to my family, and Austin, TX has become a comfortable home for me.

With 2012 now upon us, and a year of abiding in my past, I feel my new resolution will be to PUSH. This year I will set out to grow my personal relationships through showing love and attention to those close to me, I will grow TEEN TRUTH to reach newer heights than it has ever reached before, and I will grow my personal knowledge and happiness by starting my first year at Texas State – San Marcos studying for a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy. Through all of this, I am committing to PUSH as hard as I can to make sure I grow on all fronts.

So, as we head into 2012, I am wondering…What will YOU do?

Sincerely,

Evan Lieberman was born on December 6, 1991. He was born in the same town as I was, and put through the same school system. I was two years younger than Evan, and while I knew him by name I never knew him personally. What I do know is that Evan was no stranger to bullying. But what I remember about him was that I never saw him putting in less than 100% into what he did.

Over the summer evan was involved in a car crash. It was on a weekday morning on the way to work, everyone was wearing a seatbelt, and no one was under the influence. The driver fell asleep at the wheel, and so had the other three passengers. Evan was rushed to the hospital, and passed away a few weeks later. When I went to his funeral, people would say that “there is no lesson to be learned” because it was simply an accident and there is nothing anyone could have done to stop it. For me there wasn’t necessarily something to learn, but something to teach.

I was bullied all through middle school as many are. To deal with it I just alienated myself from everybody, hoping that it would just get better eventually. What I recognized later on was that the only way for it to get better would be for me to take it into my own hands. In high school I started to try to reintegrate myself into the student body, and slowly but surely it worked.

The next part of my life came when I heard Erahm speak. It was truly incredible to see everything I had tried to learn my whole life put into a one hour presentation.

“I didn’t really understand how the power of my efforts began to change my life until I experienced TEEN TRUTH LIVE.  On November 23rd, 2009, I was sitting in an auditorium in the front row where Erahm Christopher was delivering the presentation. The TEEN TRUTH BULLY FILM and Mr. Christopher’s presentation made me aware of how my actions had impacted others and I felt compelled to do something about it.

At that moment, Erahm said to all of us “I am going to count down from five and before I reach one I want someone to stand up and tell me how they are going to BE THE DIFFERENCE in their school”.  He shouted “five”, but no one stood up. He continued, “four”, but still no one had the courage to stand up.

I decided I wasn’t going to be like everyone else. He shouted “three” and I stood up.  Mr. Christopher approached me and said, “What are you going to do to BE THE DIFFERENCE?”  I was full of emotion and without wasting a moment I said, “I am going to look out for the people in my school who are made fun of. I am going to stand up against the bullies in my school and I am going to make a difference”!  I looked at Mr. Christopher and he knew I meant every word of what I said.”

I knew I had a responsibility to share that message with others, and that was a responsibility I did not take lightly.

Now in college I laugh at the problems of the past. I am who I am, and I can only be proud of that. But taking into account everything that I have been able to learn, there is still one thing I realize I didn’t do right. When I was younger I thought there was no hope. I thought that I had no choice but to accept the fact that I would be bullied. But Life is too short to give up on any part of your life. Anyone has the power to change the environment around them.

For those who know TTL, the path is so much easier. They have a team of incredible people to help them help others. At the same time, it means there are no excuses. When I went to schools asking to bring TTL, they told me no. But “no” just means you haven’t asked the right question. 6 months later, J.C. was presenting at 3 schools to over 2000 students and faculty about making a difference. And at 18 years old, I had defeated the one obstacle that had held me back from being the best person I could be.

Everyone has the chance to make a difference, but that doesn’t mean that chance will last forever. Evan Lieberman did the best he could in life, but unfortunately his life came to a tragic end with no reasonable explanation.

There are no excuses when it comes to the things that are holding you back. It may be difficult to stop others from bullying you, but it’s not difficult to stand up to someone who bullies someone else. Making a difference in the lives of others doesn’t only help those who can’t help themselves, it gives you the power to make a difference in your own life. It is a difficult first step to take, but it makes life a lot easier once you do.

It took courage to stand up for myself because I didn’t know if anyone would stand up for me. But when I stood up for others, I was never alone. It only gave me a greater determination to be a difference maker.

At Carnegie Mellon University there is little judgement. People put so much effort into their classes there is simply not enough time at the end of the day to make fun of others. But just because it is not as apparent here does not mean it is still not a huge problem across the country that we need to solve.

It only takes one person to make a difference. Make a difference in the life of someone else, and you make the world a better place. At the end of the day you are not only improving the world for someone else, you are improving the world for yourself.

I made a difference in the lives of people I didn’t know, and I have no idea what that will do to their lives. What I know is that it has made a bigger difference in my life than I could have ever anticipated.

Make a difference for others. Make a difference for yourself. Stand Up. Show the world how great is to be alive.

BE THE DIFFERENCE that makes the world a better place.

- Andrew Schwartz saw the TTL: BULLY & SCHOOL VIOLENCE presentation five years ago. He is now a student at Carnegie Mellon University (Information Systems ‘15 and Economics ‘15).

Check out our latest INSIGHT from TEEN TRUTH co-founder and speaker JC Pohl…

When I present at a school I often ask the principal what issues he/she is facing on campus, and often times the #1 issue is “Mean Girls”. Since I attended an all boy’s high school, I often struggle to weave this topic into my program. But after a recent experience, that will change.

Following a presentation at a middle school in Southern California I found myself consoling a young lady who was crying about her hardships at home. While I attempted to cheer her up, two girls walked by laughing and one said, “Do you tweeze your eyebrows?”

Being somewhat distracted, I didn’t really register what she said. But then the other girl laughed and said to me, “Because you should. They’re nasty.” They both laughed and walked away.

I was in shock. Here I was trying to console a distraught student and these two “Mean Girls” bullied me with a hurtful comment. Once I realized what they said, I could instantly feel my heart start racing and anger creep into my thoughts.

The negative impact was profound. At 35-years-old I felt insecure and completely vulnerable because of what two 13-year-olds had said to me. During the entire 3-hour drive to my next destination, I kept looking in the mirror wondering what was wrong with my eyebrows.

One comment, six seconds of time and those girls made me completely insecure. It made me think of how it would feel if I was 13 and had no support from family or friends. I imagine I’d feel completely alone and would probably feel pretty helpless.

I want to personally thank those two girls for opening my eyes to how truly hurtful some girls can be. This experience helped me make it my personal mission to fight against the cruelty of “Mean Girls” and help those who are being bullied to share their TRUTH so they can find support.

Best,

Check out our latest VOICES from this TEEN TRUTH TRIBE mem

When I was in elementary school I would exclude myself and sit alone in my classroom. I was always bulied for being “different.” I never really understood why the other kids were always so mean. When I got into junior high though I finally realized the problem, and it wasn’t me. It was just their insecurities. They only made fun of me to make themselves feel better.

My name is Alyssa Piper. I am 14 years old and I am an only child. I also have Aspergers Syndrome, a social disability. My Aspergers makes it hard for me to talk to people or be in large groups.

When I saw the TEEN TRUTH LIVE: BULLY & SCHOOL VIOLENCE experience, I decided to make it a goal to make a difference in the world so that other kids wouldn’t have to go through the pain that I felt in elementary school. I think it is very important to make a difference because then the world can slowly, but surely, become a better place for everyone.

There are many different ways to BE THE DIFFERENCE. For example, you can speak to groups of people to raise awareness about the cause and effect of bullying. You can also bring awareness through books, media, or fundraisers. Those are some big ways that you can make a difference in the world, but there are also some small ways that you can step up.

You can help resolve a conflict or go and get an adult to break up a fight. Or, you can simply be nice to someone by opening the door for them or by just giving someone a smile. Sometimes a smile is all it takes to stop someone from doing something mean or hurtful to someone else. Try giving someone a compliment – they might not say something mean to someone else because they feel good about themselves.

My advice to anyone that is being bullied or is witnessing bullying is to always tell a trusted adult about the situation. Give them as much information as possible so that they can resolve the problem.

Even if you aren’t being bullied or you don’t see anyone else being bullied, just be nice in general and spread a smile – it will probably go farther than you think.

- Alyssa Piper is our 2011 ULTIMATE DIFFERENCE MAKER. She was also selected as a finalist in this year’s TT: FILM FESTIVAL for her short film, “Stand”. READ MORE about this inspiring Difference Maker!

Check out our latest INSIGHT from our partner and CADA President Paul Chylinksi…

As a director of student activities who teaches leadership principals, there is no better motto than this to drive my, or any other, program in the nation: “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts”.

To break it down simply, each state is filled with districts, each district is filled with schools and each school is filled with microcosms of people looking to belong. This microcosm is “the part” and “the whole” is our world.

In all my years as an educator I have come to the understanding that the one true way to help a person feel this sense of belonging is through true connection. If we want to encourage a truly giving, caring enriched society then we need to start at the rudimentary level of connection – that feeling of belonging. When we feel connected to something, we belong, we have our TRIBE. It’s as simple as that.

As CADA’s, president I have traveled throughout California and I see that the most successful schools are those making connections both inside and outside of the classroom. Schools with strong, active activities programs (regardless of socio-economics) create positive school climates where connectivity can be found. Those that don’t have a culture of connection fail their students, teachers and staff. In those cultures you will find bullying, low test scores, high attendance problems, or even worse. This has nothing to do with economics, it’s purely social.

So how do you know if you have this culture of connectivity at your school?

1. Take inventory of what is working and who is working to create change on your campus – also notice what isn’t on your campus.

2. Meet as a district to discuss topics like bullying, culture and community.

3. Invite the community to a Town Hall meeting and see first who shows up. If no one comes, then there is an issue. If you have an audience then start a dialogue.

It’s up to the administration and the activities programs to be change agents on their campuses – it’s one of the reasons why CADA has partnered with TEEN TRUTH to give youth a VOICE and empower them to speak their TRUTHS. However it is up to the entire school community to show support for those individuals who are working to build our future.

If we do nothing, we are only building a culture of apathy. The support must therefore be universal; there is no exception to this. The more you talk, the better yours schools will become. The more you listen, the more you will BE THE DIFFERENCE.

- Professional Contributor and TEEN TRUTH partner Paul Chylinski is the California Association of Directors or Activities. He has served in several capacities for CADA and the California Association of Student Leaders since 1990. He was honored with the Warren Shull Region 7 Activities Director of the Year, and has taught US History, Yearbook and ASB at Loara High School in the Anaheim Union High School District for 22 years. He’s the proud father of 3 great children and helped us design the CADA/CASL TEEN TRUTH SCHOOL SAFETY ROAD SHOW!

As the TEEN TRUTH LIVE: BODY IMAGE & SELF ESTEEM speaker, I have recently realized that people – teens and adults alike – have been silent too long.

People have held in their TRUTHS out of fear of being different, judged, or imperfect and therefore unlovable. I know because I lived that myself. For the most part, people don’t have a safe place to talk about these issues.

But here’s the thing: People want to talk.

When you shake a soda bottle and then turn the cap ever so slightly, what happens? It fizzles over with increasing speed, right?

As someone whose purpose is to facilitate truthful conversation around uncomfortable issues, I can tell you that the response to a safe space to talk about body image and self-esteem is much like this “soda effect”.

Take, for instance, the girls I recently wrote about in my first Huffington Post article, “It’s Cool to Skip Lunch”. These girls waited in line after their assembly, one by one and in clusters of a few, to ask me different variations of the question: Should I eat lunch? (Check out the article for more on that story.)

Or, one of the most striking illustrations of this “fizzle over” happened recently when I wrote a blog about the plus size French model, Tara Lynn. That blog went viral, along with Tara Lynn’s captivating picture, and it was shared on Facebook almost 9,000 times. 9,000 times!

Even more interesting than the spread of “On French Model Tara Lynn” was the range of comments people made on the blog and the picture. Some people were heated, others opinionated, and others depicted their own struggle with weight, appearance, and self-worth.

99+% of 60,000+ students and adults that I have spoken to on the road with TEEN TRUTH LIVE: BODY IMAGE & SELF ESTEEM say they are not always happy with themselves the way they are naturally.

If we’re committed to giving students the best chance to succeed in life, we need to address how they are measuring their sense of self-worth. And they’re not likely just going to start talking openly because our culture and the media reinforce unrealistic images of perfection all around them.

The “soda effect” comes from PRESSURE – pressure to look cool, dress a certain way, be muscular if you’re a guy, be skinny if you’re a girl, get good grades, fit in, excel in sports, and everything in between.

I love the TEEN TRUTH programs because they turn the cap on the issues, let the fizz rise, and watch the soda run out so that we can come to healthier solutions for our schools.

When given a safe opportunity, kids and adults alike want to talk. They want to share their TRUTHS. When we provide a safe and loving space, real conversation can occur. As I have seen from people’s reactions so far, these conversations need to happen more.

I hope to see YOU on the road with TEEN TRUTH.

Follow Stephanie:
twitter.com/heartleadership
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And be sure to check out Stephanie’s first TEEN TRUTH NET dispatch from the road this school year! WATCH IT!

Check out our latest SIMPLE TRUTH from our latest featured contributor…

Things may not always seem the way that they look. Sometimes when you are standing on the outside looking in, we don’t always see the whole picture.

We may think that a person has the perfect job, drive the perfect car and have the perfect life – until you ask that person.

We all have burdens and crosses to bear. Some are worse than others. But I have learned that no one ever gets through life without some battle scars. I think what is important is to not just avoid the wars but learn how to endure the battles.

Life will be full of challenges. In order to be the difference we wish to see in the world, we need to learn how to cope while maintaining the ability to believe in what is important to us.

We fill our heads with thoughts of being accepted, and finding where we fit in. We do not need to fit the mold. We just need to learn how to be comfortable in our own skin.

Self-acceptance is the best gift we can give ourselves. Knowing our own TRUTH is the first step.

What do YOU think?

- Featured Contributor Danielle Benavides is the mother of three boys (Albert, Aidan and Ashton) and the President/Co-Founder of Aidan’s Voice. She is also the Trustee of The Beauty Foundation for Cancer Care. Danielle lives by the motto, “Life is only a moment in time, we need to make it count.”